Summertime Lessons from Dad
Sharing gratitude for three things I learned watching a craftsman navigate his world.
“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.”
―Umberto Eco
Today is my Dad’s birthday. He would have been 92. But when I think about him on this day I always remember him as he was when I was growing up. And I am reminded every year on this day of the lessons he taught me.
Sometimes his teaching was very intentional. Other times the learning happened through osmosis, observation, and immersion into his world.
From DepositPhotos.com
LESSON ONE: Find ways to serve
When I wonder where my inner desire to teach and help others came from, all I need to do is recall how he walked the planet. He had a servant’s heart, was committed to helping others through any difficulty they might be facing, and reveled in the times he was able to show someone how to do something.
Dad was old school in the way he saw service. He believed it was a responsibility everyone had — we were supposed to find ways we could serve others. He devoted countless hours to volunteering for organizations that served the community and mentored many who crossed his path.
If he had been asked what he wanted his legacy to be, I am certain he would have said something about helping people. The many who have shared stories with me of how he guided them through a difficult situation remind me to look for opportunities to serve every day.
LESSON TWO: Think like a craftsman
Though he was a State Policeman in his career, he was a craftsman in his heart. Motivated by the desire to create things that looked good and lasted, he would spend days, weeks, and months planning his projects.
The tables by the chairs where he sat always had legal pads on them with the current sketches of the next thing he planned to build. Often there would be three or four different versions in process at any time as he played with ideas.
Ultimately, he would end up at his drafting board creating the final version — the vision of what he would create with all the relevant measurements and necessary labeling. All carefully printed just like his shop teacher taught him in high school.
No doubt watching him go through the many iterations to create meticulous plans and then working with him to bring them to life is why I am so committed to planning as step one in everything I do.
LESSON THREE: There are no absolutes
On the surface, Dad’s police training was always present. He preferred to sit with his back to the wall in a restaurant, always carried his Retired State Police ID, and observed everything around him in the way he was trained to do.
But there was a playful and exploratory side to him that few got the chance to see. It was in those moments when he experimented with an idea with no investment in the outcome that he showed me it is not always about the rules or the right way.
Maybe that is why I am so committed to trusting the process and knowing it will reveal the path you need. Because so often, when we were stuck trying to solve an unexpected problem, it is what we did, and it always worked out.
BONUS LESSON: Not knowing can be valuable
You might be wondering about the image above of the boy and his dad surf fishing. It is there because of one special memory that delivered a bonus lesson. It came when we were surf fishing on our annual vacation camping on Assateague Island.
While my sister and I were playing in the crashing waves, Mom and Dad were casting their lines in the water over and over, reeling them in, rebaiting them, and recasting. Just feeding their worms to the crabs and the surf.
Then Dad asked me if I wanted to try out my new rod and reel.
We baited the two hooks and he turned me loose to cast my line into the water. Instantly the rod bent almost double and I began reeling with everything I had to pull in whatever was on the other end.
As the rig emerged from foam there were two sizable kingfish on the line. It took all I had to pull them up the beach. We took them off the line, rebaited the hooks and I cast into the waves again.
Instantly another powerful hit bent my pole and I started reeling mightily to pull whatever it was to shore.
Two more kingfish emerged from the retreating wave.
As we removed them and prepared to rebait the hooks, the lesson became clear. Because I had no clue what I was doing and lacked the strength to cast my line farther into the ocean, I was casting to the place where the fish were feeding much closer to shore than where Mom and Dad had been casting.
The bonus lesson was not knowing what you are doing can sometimes lead you to discover what works. That is why I seldom approach ideas with doubt and instead look for what they might reveal — perhaps the most valuable lesson I have ever learned.
Think about this
What lesson have you learned from a parent, a mentor, a colleague, or a friend that has served you well? Perhaps today is a great day to reach out and thank them. I know I would if I could, but I am also confident that he knows.
P.S. I’d love to learn about the lessons you received. Please click here to share one with me.