The Writer's Existential Question
Every writer at some point asks: If no one is reading why should I continue writing?
“The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write about it.”
― Benjamin Disraeli
The opening quote is the essence of why I write. I write to understand, to sort out my thoughts, and to learn more about subjects of interest.
But I would be lying if I claimed that as my only motivation.
Because the deeper reason why I write and share what I write is my deep desire to inspire others to think differently about what is possible for them. I secretly hope someone will read something I have written and make a decision to step up and share their thinking. Or, perhaps decide to take action on something they’ve been pondering. Maybe even start writing more themselves.
Yet, despite my understanding of these reasons for why I write, I regularly wrestle with the question of whether it matters to anyone but me. And whether that matters.
Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash
Take this morning. I’m in my writing corner at my usual 6-ish am start time when I open up the window where I write these weekday missives. The page, left open after my last writing session, shows the stats for last Friday’s post — a number that does not make me happy because the number of readers is a scant 25% of the usual number.
Immediately the question arises — why am I doing this? Why am I rising and retreating to this little corner to create when it appears no one is reading?
It is the proverbial fork in the road moment at my keyboard.
Yes, it is an overreaction.
That makes it no less real. Angst, frustration, and disappointment all smack me in the face, repeatedly. The head trash once again freed to run through my mind shouting all those stupid questions we ask when doubting our own abilities.
Despite the low number of readers on the screen, I push the ‘new post’ button and prepare to write another post. It opens, I write the first iteration of the title, then go to my saved ‘post format’ post to copy the content framework and drop it into the new post.
Then something interesting happens (I know you’ve been waiting patiently for something to happen here…and thank you for sticking with me)…
The post stats refresh. The historically low number of readers for last Friday’s post transforms into the highest number of readers for any post since I started this little adventure a couple of months ago.
And the focus of this post changes.
I was pondering letting you know I decided to hit pause on the ‘every weekday’ format and start doing only three posts per week. I had some solid reasons at the ready intended to help you the next time you were wrestling with an existential inner debate. In fact, I had been thinking about making the shift for a while after hearing from a handful of readers who said they found the daily posts too much to consume.
But what kind of idiot would do that after hitting a daily high number of readers with his last post?
Certainly not this one.
If for no other reason because there is a valuable lesson within this experience. A reminder to pause the thinking before pausing the action. A call to consider why you are doing whatever it is you are considering stopping or changing in light of readily available information.
Because it may not be accurate.
Therein is the real lesson of this morning’s experience — the data matters and making sure the data is current matters even more. Sometimes a simple refresh or another perspective or an additional opinion can change everything.
When I typed the first draft of the title for this post I felt the emptiness of disappointment. The voices within that love to torment me were in full-on “you suck” mode trying to convince me this little experiment of mine writing weekday posts had already gone on too long.
Now those voices are silent. I am re-energized about the value of sharing my writing. And I intend to keep doing just that.
So I invite you to join me as this journey continues. Please take a moment to share this post with someone you know needs this reminder today. And if you are not already a subscriber, please sign up so you don’t miss a future issue with a message you need to read.
Today’s Action Advice
Perhaps you have been wrestling with a decision about something you are doing in your life or your business. Maybe today is the day to take a step back and reevaluate.
The day to consider what you know versus what you think you know and make a decision about your next step. What facts or data do you have and what else can you discover to help you silence the doubts and move forward in making the decision to pull the plug or make a change? Find them, process them, then make your decision.
P.S. I am grateful for you taking the time to read The Backstory Initiative and hope it serves you in some way as you seek to create your impact on your corner of the planet.